Spend enough time on witchcraft forums and you start to notice a pattern.
The spells aren’t about money, power or success. Well, sometimes they are but mostly they’re about heartbreak.
The advice given on said forums is solid. We see everything from sour jars to freezer spells, binding spells to plain old revenge spells.
Usually written by women who’ve spent years being lied to, manipulated, cheated on, gaslit or slowly worn down until they are shades of their former glorious selves.
By the time they’re asking strangers on the internet how to curse someone, their real target might not only be their ex anymore.
It’s also the version of themselves that tolerated that twat for too long.
I never judge.
Some of the stories of how some men behave behind closed doors were so diabolical I wanted to cast a hex on them myself.
No wonder women are turning to the good old ways of magic. There’s nothing like a good old tinker in the back end of reality to right the unseen wrongs in life.
By that I mean powerful ways to get revenge.
Not because I enjoy revenge... well, perhaps a teeny tiny little bit. Okay, I’ll admit it, I love a bit of cathartic revenge.
But timing is everything.
It’s tempting to cast spells while boiling with rage and hurt.
Women were left emotionally broken, financially ruined and in some cases homeless.
With shattered confidence and what I can only describe as fractured spirits.
If you’ve spent any time around women after heartbreak, you’ve probably met someone like this.
Perhaps you’ve been her.
But something kept me thinking.
If somebody has left you exhausted, anxious and questioning your own judgement. If you’re checking their social media, replaying conversations and imagining what they’re doing now and how you would like to make them suffer, then ask yourself this:
Would your spell be a revenge spell? Or are you still feeding them your precious energy?
Why would that be the moment to perform a powerful curse ritual?
It sounds like the perfect time; I hear you cry.
Well, my friend, it isn’t. I’ll let you in on a secret.
I’ve practised magic for forty years.
I’ve come to believe something that has become one of the foundations of my own practice.
While strong emotions are the gateway and the fuel to powerful magic, a prepared mind and controlled emotion give it force and direction. A bereft and worn-down mind will yield weak results. Or as many a disclaimer has said, ‘results may vary, and mostly not in a good way.’
My advice is that you have to be in reasonably steady mental and preferably physical condition before you do.
This is where I advise The Hermit phase, to gather your magickal strength, but I’ll go into that in another article. At its core, it’s a period of time that you set aside to heal by strengthening your magical field.
As for the hate you feel.
Advice from an old witch: Let the egg go cold in the nest.
Imagine the hate and revenge you feel as an egg you laid. This black, leathery egg with steam coming off it isn’t a good egg, and you don’t want to keep it warm. You want to step away from the egg, let it go cold and die, before it hatches into something horrible.
Heartbreak gives you enormous emotional energy. But magic works most effectively when that emotion has a clear, clean direction.
A clear, directed mind provides that steering.
But an unclear mind has an unfortunate way of fracturing the direction, and the steering will be off.
This happens because of the violent swings in emotion after heartbreak.
One hour you’re furious.
The next you’re devastated.
Then you’re convinced you’ve lost your soulmate.
Then you’re convinced you hate them.
Then you blame yourself.
Then you’re planning your revenge.
Your attention fractures.
Your thinking fractures.
Your spirit feels fractured. It’s as though every part of you is pulling in a different direction.
Your magical efforts will be like stuffing fireworks into a jar and then opening it: near your face. It’s an accident waiting to happen.
Whether you interpret that psychologically, spiritually or somewhere in between doesn’t really matter.
It can make you feel worse.
That is why I became cautious when dealing with my own heartbreak. I wanted to steady my emotions first. You don’t have to be cured, just not furious.
In short, the condition of the magician matters.
Prepare the magician before you amplify the magician
Emotion is fuel. Directed emotion is magical fuel.
The danger: Don’t become the spell. Six weeks of revenge rituals may simply turn your ex into the central organising principle of your evenings, turning you into his unpaid personal energy supplier
I’ll say it again: if you give someone your energy while feeling fractured, you’ll only weaken yourself.
However, once you’re calm and back in control, you can deliberately call that clean, clear and unadulterated rage back up and use its energy in your magic later — when you’ve gathered your power rather than being overwhelmed by it.
In the meantime, you don’t need to suppress your hatred. You need somewhere else to put it while you clear your energy.
So no.
I am not going to tell you to forgive him.
I’m certainly not going to tell you to send him love and light.
He may not deserve either.
And if, for the foreseeable future, you’d quite like him to develop an embarrassing rash or be mildly inconvenienced by every dog he encounters in the street pissing on his leg, I understand.
What I am going to suggest is that you stop storing him inside your own nervous system.
Hatred needs somewhere to go. Right?
So I built it somewhere.
I call it The Container of Hate. I did that to sound a bit dramatic, and click-baitey, but it’s really a container for any emotions that can get in the way of your magical work and these emotions are primarily negative ones.
And this is where the practical magic begins.
Until Next time my friend, I’m sending a golden circle of protection around you.